His passing has dramatically changed and shape my life because now i have both ,responsibilities of my family and my father's responsibilities, siblings and relatives. I have a lot in my plate and that has changed my life and attitudes for better because now for sure every decisions I make has wide scrutiny and can change life or lives for good or bad. I use to think that i knew what it is to be father-figure and do fatherly duties, but now I get it and it is a commitment that never go away until death do you apart. Just to father my kids drains me, now to this big extended family, i'm totally overwhelmed. I tell you what life, is not the same anymore.We human takes for granted things that we enjoy every day, and fatherhood life is one of them.
Guess what? Technology has been the major factor in my life. It has facilitate the fatherhood life role that i have in a very tangible and transcending ways. My mom calls me or I call her very often and discuss progress, and behavior shaping to both kids and littler siblings, whenever something happens or goes wrong. Likewise, i use technology, internet and phone to reward good behavior and success. In general I'm very involved and I'm proud of the new role if i can make a difference. Moreover, finally it feels that there is no power that can be taken for granted due to my father's passing. My mother, my siblings and my presence at a full blown response and it is encouraging for those who want progress and peace and it freaks out those who have ill deep seated wishes to my family. We pray God to have his presence and actively involved in the activities of this family day in day out and live in our lives in promotion of love and prosperity; because all these comes from truly his love for humanity and us human beings.
I last saw him September of 2002. Seen him at his dying bed, it frustrating and joy to finally lays my eyes on hims for the last time. The journey to see him was long but it was full of blessings. I consider myself the blessed one and I thank almighty God for that. He gave me a new life; he showed me the part of life that I didn’t know about and he lead me to live life like man and face the world as it is with enough tools to navigate through, education, respect for other, take responsibilities, play fair, love for God and family and never to back down on life or enemy of my life and others.
He knew that he was dying, he insisted about love, and family leadership. He was a secretary of our clan so he knew awful a lot about my clan that I don’t know much about except for the few that i interact with. He was worrying about my mom and I promised him that she is on the safe hands and no one will threaten, humiliate, degrade, stigmatize, or oppress her on my watch and certainly on God's watch as the master planner of all. My mom has gone through a lot; my father was the only one gave her strength, as I can remember our childhood, and now his is gone. Her only Hope is God and her children depending on what she encountered from so many relatives of mine at Uru. I always tell her that God is your only salvation and he cannot forsaken you because he brouht you this far. We human beings tend to ask question and questioned why this or that happened to me or people we love, but if we were to know God's plans we could never asked or questioned his decisions or whatever happens to us and our loved one as somehow a mistake. To my knowledge that's how God talking to us, we ought to learn, do soul searching and change the way we do the things we do. Ben Franklin said that to do same thing over and over and somehow to expect different result that is insanity. It is like planting corn and expect to harvest soy. It sounds strange? You are right it is, shake-up and change the way you do business if things aint right. If things are smooth, then dont fix what is not broken. I wish it was simple like that.
Looking at the division of my Uru relative is so pathetic. How could someone dare to say that because some f my siblings and i are light skin we dont resemble my father and we dont fit? Some even dare to try to divide us by favoring my siblings who have darker completion and said that they look like my father and they are talented and can make it in life, but it did not work because God is great. The people did and are doing this are credible people, some well educated. I hate no one as we were all created resembling face and God. I cannot hate a human being and pretend that I love God. However, i dislike what they do and for that I pray for them to see the reality on the light the very thing that they do in the dark or behind other people's back. All i can say is ignorance also can be found to educated people because formal education can lack vital information about vital aspects of life. Therefore, we all ought to educate ourselves consistently with vital information about life, areas we live, people we deal with, factors that lead to decision making, why thins are the way they are and so on. Information is limitless and transform every day depending on so many aspects that life rewards us.
Lastly, this is about the role of fatherhood life that i thought i knew well and after my father passed that role changed and transformed into a complex thing that i always have to navigate through. the trip to Tanzania it was very uncertain journey yet very blessed one thanks God that we made it. Not many people get a chance to go see their dying father and take care of them in the hospital for 2+weeks, I did get that privilege and thanks God. R.I.P. Baba/Father. We miss you.
I can go on and on, and may be write books about the whole ordeal; because the real family shake-up started very early 1980, i was like 6 years and I remember like yesterday. I'm observer but i tend to fool people because first I'm talkative and opinionated. That, in my culture is double jeopardy and not smart, but what many people in the area don't know is that with these qualities one can also be a very good observer. No, they like to stereotype and psychologically shut you down, what they forgot is you cant shut down an opinionated person, because his/her brain sparkles out the opinions even when they are not talking. I love them because i can go toe to toe to the last breath and I'm a strait shooter, i tell like it is regardless of who you are and what you are; and I like me of such friends and not hypocrite who will tell you what you want to hear only. That is pathetic, excuse my language.