Saturday, March 1, 2014

Valerian Family Forgives You Auntie Florentina Masawe

         After what transpired in front of our very eyes, getting caught off-guard with so many precedents and unprecedented issues,  you probably never thought you would hear us, Valerian Family, discussing forgiveness, or issue a next chapter, of forgiveness as strategy to enlighten all who did us wrong.  We have forgave and moved on to the next chapter of life because we cannot re-live a second, minute, hour, day or year ago, but we expect to live the future, God willing for as long as he allow us. Auntie Florentina Masawe and all, now you are about to learn why is forgiveness significant with ethics? 

Importance Of Forgiveness:

           The fact is, being wronged or having the perception of being wronged, as we were here by so close related persons, can influence people's personality; and this did set us off testing our ability to think rationally. But, we were made with bigger hearts with compassion and rational mind than our critics can think and or suggest. If you are harboring resentment, there is a weight on you, and may your soul be saved by God because none of us can, since it is a very deep seated personal choice.  
          Truth be told, no one can give anyone the best if such perosn holds grudge. Sometimes one may feel lonely and miserable, because he/she is filled with hatred and resentments. But we, Valerian Family, have chosen to live free from such captivity of hatred. Have you ever worked, lived, visited and dwell at a place and have someone not liking you because you remind them of someone? That is an awful place to be and state of mind to be. No matter what we, Valerian Family, did, you Auntie Florentina Masawe, and your followers always have shown us hate at its worse and in a very carefully sneaky ways. We loudly and forcefully said "THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT", not now, not again and not ever we can be forced to conform to traditional glitches that are designed to oust us. That is part of our new chapter, from the closed chapter, as copping way toward this forgiveness. We need nothing from anyone and we will take nothing form anyone. 
            As Bibi Manyaki used to say, "Kila Mndu Na Mmba Ya Mae, Kuchiwa Na Mondu Pho", meaning that "Everyone Into His/Her Mother's House, One Will Not Have Conflicts". This phrase is noble and priceless. It is one that is seated in our hearts as new us resolution on coping with forgiveness. We don't need any interference, thanks God Almighty, we are who we are and not who our critics thought of us to be. God works on human in his own ways. Prays him all the time.
           Auntie Florentina Masawe and followers, why is forgiveness necessary? Forgiveness, helps free persons so that such person can be able move on with his or her life. That's how we, Valerian Family have done all along when encounter conflict after conflict, sadly all are rooted from the segment of Uru Family members hatred of our Mother and us by association. Chagga Traditional glitches have been used all along. But we said "THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT" and we mean it.
            Also, without forgiveness, someone will carry dead weight into every situation he or she goes.  One would want to keep that type of negativity out of the workplace, family, congregation or public in order to avoid human time bombs.  We never know what a person is going through because he or she, especially an angry and hateful person, has capabilities of becoming good at wearing a mask to conceal some of the things that may be going on.  Auntie,Florentina Masawe, If you ever have the opportunity to forgive (or be forgiven), move on it so that you can move on with your life too.  Close the chapter and open new one! Auntie Florentina Masawe. We Valerian Family, have closed the chapter, like so many more chapters we closed in the past, and we have moved on.

Forgiveness and Happiness:
             The relationship between happiness and forgiveness is very complex and subjective. This is due to the fact that grounds for forgiveness are very vague and depending upon the people involved in the case/issue that need forgiveness based on many factors i.e. race, culture, environment, geographical location, ethnicity, tradition, nationality, religion, spiritual belief system, politics, e.t.c., of both subjects and people involved, depending on case by case basis. For example, a case study by Maltby, Day & Barber (2005) relates absence of happiness and forgiveness as an association of the intensity on bad consequences of a failure to exonerate and/or blockades to tolerance due to things like self-admiration, anger, neuroticism, aggression, nervousness, despair, antipathy and hatred. Therefore, to forgive and become happy is the absence of the above example given by Maltby, Day & Barber (2005). He continued to say that happiness and forgiveness are only possible through successful tolerance among one another; also to understand one another to why others do, think, believe, act, feel, say, and are the ways they are. This is the process that is through and is known as diversification or tolerating others; especially those who are vulnerable and different from oneself.
We, Valerian Family do believe in forgiveness as a self-deliberation and healing process of coping with incidents that are forgiven. We believe that without forgiveness there is no happiness because things such as self-admiration, anger, neuroticism, aggression, nervousness, despair, antipathy and hatred causes people not to forgive. Also these things hold people hostage from enjoying life and make them victims because one can be prone to a more chaotic future for not believe in forgiveness. Forgiving others to us is sacred and it gives us a control of our lives, something that empowers us and our outlook all together. Thus, forgiveness makes us feel worthy and happy with life regardless. For us, although the incidents that we forgave our friends, family members and or associates, as victims and deserved to be bitter, we chose forgiveness because we feel that it is a moral decision to be generous to one another and tech them ethical values (Heller, 1998).  This is contrary to negativity and animosity that could happen if we did not forgive, we still respect everyone and others' actions rightfully. Forgiveness has helped and is a positive approach in living a quality life, at least we believe so.
Hence, forgiveness to others tends to start with one’s self-forgiveness first then followed by forgiveness to others. Whereas, self-forgiveness as described by Enright and colleagues is   “a positive attitudinal shift in the feelings, actions, and beliefs about the self-following a self-perceived transgression or wrongdoing committed by the self. As such, granting the self-forgiveness necessarily entails perceiving the self to have committed a wrong” (Wohl, DeShea & Wahkinney, 2008).
Forgiveness tends to effect workplace or livelihood or congregation because it brings about a positive and friendly workplace, which is the great value for a family, clan, community, and society to have and become successful. Forgiveness in the organization can be characterized as an asset of an organizational culture that is successful. Forgiveness fosters culture of togetherness through a systematic way that family, community and society share meanings, shape its value systems, conducts itself in the public, honors its responsibilities, behaves and interacts with the society (Brown, 2011).  
These togetherness values will depend on leadership values and ethics, also how member will carry out their responsibilities and duties to meet the desired goals, productivity. Valerian Family has decided to take charge leading others into the forgiveness path, because both Forgiveness and Leadership are in our DNA, and it is ethical and rational thing to do. We are inclined in our hearts and traits to practice what we preach and forgive. We can forgive but certainly we cannot forget. Forgiving values empower and make us happy, in which happy people are more likely to be positive and productive members of the society. Valerian Family, as part of Balthazar, Kiwera and Masao Clan/Family, and as part of Uru Community and society, has seen unforgiving people become less productive because of becoming, unhappy, sick, antagonistic, unethical, unmotivated and polarizing figures in his organization. Likewise, Valerian Family has seen forgiving people become more productive, because they tend to become healthy, energetic, enthusiastic and eager to finish all their daily duties successfully.
To some people forgiveness can be a very frightening and uncomfortable action that could be heard through the voices and hearts of those who were courageous enough to ask for it. Despite the risks involved, there were times when forgiveness did not bring the desired results, but was certainly worth a try (Forbus, 2014). So Aunt  Florentina Masawe, we have done our homework and dont fell pressured because forgiveness has to come from your very bottom deepened heart with its convictions and meaning to it.  May God Bless you all. Amen!
Brown, D.  (2011). An experiential approach to organization development, (8th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.
Forbus, R. (2014). Leaders and forgiveness in the workplace. Retrieved from Web site:
Heller, S. (1998). Emerging field of forgiveness studies explores how we let go of grudges. The Chronicle of Higher Education, 44(45), A18-A20. Retrieved from
Maltby, J., Day, L., & Barber, L. (2005). Forgiveness and happiness. the differing contexts of forgiveness using the distinction between hedonic and eudaimonic happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 6(1), 1-13. doi:
Wohl, M. J. A., DeShea, L., & Wahkinney, R. L. (2008). Looking within: Measuring state self-forgiveness and its relationship to psychological well-being. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, 40(1), 1-10. Retrieved from

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